Want To Be Likable? Do This.

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I recently came across a list of words that give a name to emotions that are hard to explain. My favorite one was “anecdoche”.

Anecdoche (n.) [ah-nek-duh-kee] is a conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening.

I was immediately reminded of a scientific study I’d read about.

In the experiment, they sent two people into a networking type of gathering. Person #1 was instructed not to talk about themselves at all. They were instructed to only ask questions about the person they were conversing with.

Person #2, on the other hand, was allowed to share what they did, how they liked their job, their industry, the clients they were working with.

When the participants who had conversations with these two people were interviewed afterwards, something strange happened.

When asked which of the two people was the most interesting, accomplished and likable, they invariable chose Person #1. The person who only asked questions — the one who had not actually shared anything about themselves at all. 

When you ask questions and show genuine interest in someone it actually makes you seem more interesting, accomplished and likable.

At this point, I’d usually ask: So how can you use this method in your business? 

But instead I’ll just say: Stop having freakin’ anecdoches with your clients.